Insurance agents are premium lovers.
Insurance agents do it with third parties.
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Jim's barn burned down. Julie, his wife, called the insurance company and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."
"Whoa there, just a minute, Julie, it doesn't work like that. We will assess the value of the building and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." the agent replied.
Julie, after a pause, said, "Well, in that case, I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
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What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance agents.
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A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, "I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live."
"Oh that's terrible," the woman sighs, "what am I going do?"
The doctor replies, "Marry an insurance agent."
"Will I live longer?" asks the woman. "
"No," replies the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."
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A insurance sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I´ll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She´s gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He´s gone.
"OK, you´re up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of story: always let your boss have the first say.
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Mr. James Barricks, was a rich old man was dying from a rare disease. On his deathbed, he called for his insurance agent, doctor and preacher:
"I trusted each you my entire life. Now I want to give each of you $30,000 cash in an envelope to put in my grave. I want to take it with me."
Mr. Barricks died and at the funeral, each one placed the envelope on top of the man, then he was laid to rest.
On the way from the funeral, in the limo, the doctor confessed "I must tell you gentlemen, I only put $20,000 on top of Mr. Barricks, I wanted buy this new machine that would enable me to diagnose his rare disease and save others. It's what he would have wanted."
Then the preacher said: "I have to confess, I only put $10,000 on top of Mr. Barricks. We needed that money to help more homeless, and it's what Mr. Barricks would've wanted"
The insurance agent was angry at both the man, and said: "I can't believe both of you, stealing from a dead man. I wrote Mr. Barricks a check for the full $30,000!"
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A drunk wanders into the lounge of a hotel where an insurance convention is being held, intent on causing trouble. He yells, "I think all insurance agents are crooks, and if anyone doesn't like it, come up and do something about it."
Immediately, a man runs up to the drunk and says, "You take that back!"
The drunk snears and replies, "Why, are you an agent?"
"No," the man replies, "I'm a crook."
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A super genius goes in to see a doctor. "Doc," the genius says, "I think I'm too smart. I'm having trouble even communicating with people because we have no common frame of reference, and it's ruining my social life. Can anything be done?"
The doctor runs a series of tests on the genius, and indeed finds that he is too smart. He says, "Currently, your IQ is 250, which is vastly superior to an average man. This is why your having trouble communicating. I do have a cure, however. I have a machine that will drain away some of your intellegence, leaving you with an IQ of 160. You'll still be a genius, but you should be able to lead a normal life as well."
The genius immediately agrees to the treatment, so the doctor straps him into the machine.
Just as the doctor turns on the device, he gets a phone call from his ex-wife. They have a heated phone conversation for several minutes before the doctor remembers his patient. He rushes back, and is shocked when he sees the IQ readout at 75.
The doctor says, "Are you all right?"
The former genius just stares blankly.
The doctor shakes him, saying "Say Something."
The former genius replies, "Can I interest you in a health insurance policy?"
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 Affordable Health Insurance Online
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Confusius Say:
Needing insurance is like needing a parachute. If it isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing it again.
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Confusius Say:
Never argue with an idiot client. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
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An insurance salesman, risk manager and a safety director are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says.
The safety director volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed.
In a short time they're awakened by a knock. It's the safety director, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal."
The risk manager says that, OK, he'll sleep in the barn.
The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock.
It's the risk manager who says, "There's a pig in the barn. I'm Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal."
So the insurance salesman is sent to the barn.
It's getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep.
But they're awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It's the cow and the pig!
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Last week I bought a retirement policy. All I've got to do is keep up the payments for 15 years and my agent can retire.
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I thought my group insurance plan was fine until I discovered that I couldn't collect until the whole group is sick.
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I bought a new life insurance policy but the small print is impossible to understand. All I'm sure of is that after I die, I can stop paying.
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Life insurance is really strange. It's a weird concept. You really don't get anything for it. It works like this: You pay me money. And when you die, I'll pay you money.
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Buying insurance is what keeps people poor so that they can end up dying rich.
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A state adopts strict new insurance self study CE requirements for its agents. The tests they now require are very difficult, can take no more than an hour to complete, and must be taken at a certified testing center.
On the first day of the new requirements, an agent wanders into a testing center a half hour late.
"You'll never finish this test on time," the test administrator coldly states.
"Just give me the test," replies the agent, "I'll finish it."
Skeptically, the administrator gives the agent the test.
The time limit comes and passes and yet the agent still has not completed the test. Finally, a half hour after the test time limit, the agent brings his test up to the administrator, who is correcting a large stack of tests.
"You can't turn that in," states the test administrator, "you knew there was a time limit."
"Do you know who I am?" replies the agent.
"No", says the administrator.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" the agent says more forcefully.
"No, and I really don't care" replies the administrator, slightly annoyed.
"Good," says the agent, who quickly shoves his test into the middle of the stack the administrator is correcting and walks out the door.
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An elderly man about to receive anesthesia is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon should only perform the operation.
The old man signalled to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" asked the son.
"Don´t be jittery, son, perform your best, and never forget that if it fails, if something should happen to me, your mother will live with you and your wife the rest of her days."
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A man is walking down the street smoking, drinking bourbon and swearing to himself.
A preacher came over to him and dressed him down good. He finished with "I´m 64 years old and I have never smoked, drank or swore!"
The man replyed "Yes, and you ain´t never sold insurance either!"
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Last night as I lay sleeping, I died or so it seemed,
Then I went to heaven, but only in my dream.
Up there St. Peter met me, standing at the pearly gates,
He said "I must check your record, please stand here and wait."
He turned and said "Your record Is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied for every losing cause.
I see that you drank alcohol and smoked and used drugs too,
Fact is, you've done everything a good person should never do.
We can't have people like you up here, your life was full of sin,"
Then he read the last of my record, took my hand and said "Come in."
He lead me up to the big boss and said "Take him in and treat him well,
He used to work in Insurance, he's done his time in hell."
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How do agents traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
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Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks??? The doctor can't see me for three weeks??? I could well be dead by then!"
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"
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At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
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With all of today's attractive accident insurance policies, a man can't afford to die a natural death.
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A lawyer and a broker were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the broker. "I'm here because my house was destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The puzzled lawyer asked, "How do you start a flood?"
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My dinner party was headed for disaster. One man, an insurance salesman, was monopolizing the conversation with a lengthy account of recent litigation involving himself. Since two other guests were lawyers, I was becoming increasingly uneasy. "In the end," the salesman concluded, "you know who got all the money?"
I cringed when he shouted "The lawyers!"
There was embarrassed silence at the table. My heart was pounding until the wife of one lawyer said, "Oh, I love a story with a happy ending!"
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An agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."
The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
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Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
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The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."
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An insurance agent said to a customer,
"Thank you, Mr. Barricks, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."
"Gosh, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted Mr. Barricks. "you know that I file many claims and always pay premium late."
The insurance agent said, " I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred like you."
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"Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
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An underwriter, an insurance agent, an old lady and a beautiful blonde find themselves together on a train. The train passes through a tunnel and in the darkness a loud slap is heard. When out of the tunnel and in the light, they see that the insurance agent has a red five finger mark on his cheek.
The blonde is thinking: the insurance agent must have tried to grope me in the dark and mistakenly groped the old lady, so she slapped him.
The old lady is thinking: that guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped him.
The insurance agent is thinking: the underwriter must have groped the blonde in the dark and she mistakenly slapped me instead of him.
The underwriter is thinking: I can't wait for the next tunnel so I can slap that damn insurance agent again!!!
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The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father.
The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged.
The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'"
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Airman Barricks was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Barricks had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Barricks's sales pitch.
Barricks explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
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James Barricks walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.
"We don't need anyone," he was told.
"You can't afford not to hire me," James said. "I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!"
"Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job."
He was gone about two hours. He returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.
"How in the world did you do that?" they asked.
"I told you I'm the world's best salesman," James said. "I can sell anyone, anywhere, anytime!"
"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked.
"What's that?" he asked.
"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000, the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."
James was gone about six hours, and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine. He sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. Brown's and this one is Mr. Jones's."
"That's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"
"Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a state teachers' convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"
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The Story of Twelve Insurance Men
First man slept with his wife .............Home Insurance
Second man slept with his girl ............Mutual Benefit
Third man slept with a chorus girl ........New York Life
Fourth man slept with his secretary .......Employers Mutual
Fifth man slept with a hotel maid .........Travelers Aid
Sixth man slept with just anybody .........Metropolitan
Seventh man slept with nobody .............John Handcock
Eighth man slept with the woman next door..Royal Neighbors
Ninth man slept with an old maid ..........Prudential
Tenth man slept with grandma ..............Old Age Insurance
Eleventh man slept with his boyfriend .....Odd Fellows
Twelfth man slept with Charlie McCarthy ...Modern Woodsman
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Life insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."
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Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service.
The first one said, "When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of a tall building. One of our insureds who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as passed our floor."
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Several cannibals were recently hired by a health insurance agency. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our CSR's has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the CSR?"
A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Producers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the Customer Service Representative!"
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Two insurance salesmanagers are discussing business one day. One manager asked "How many agents do you have working for you?"
The other manager replied "About half of them."
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"You ought to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent, "so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents."
"Yes, I know," replied the agent, "I'm them."
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An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.
"I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?"
"Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap."
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Sad but true: One day when I was a new agent, I received a phone call from a lady saying that unfortunately she had to cancel her husband´s life insurance policy. "We always paid it in time", she said, "but since my dear husband´s sudden death last year I have had some financial hardship; therefore, I cannot pay it anymore."I had the claim processed.
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As part of its direct marketing program, a company sells life insurance over the phone. One of the oddest events these telemarketers had was when they received one phone call from a person wanting to buy life insurance. The person who answered the phone began writing the sale as normal until she got to the new customer´s residence; he was on death row, due to be executed the next day. She had to decline the sale.
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A traveling insurance salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.
The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
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An insurance agent won a trip to Mexico City. Now he is trying to win a trip back home.
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If a risk manager, a broker and an underwriter were all drowning and you could only save one of them, which would you do first?
Go to lunch; or Read the paper.
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A couple I know enjoys getting away from their high-stress jobs in the city by spending a few weekends out camping and relaxing in their motor home.
However, they often found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. So, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now whenever they set up camp they place this sign on the door of their RV...
"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
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An insurance agent is walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges.
She says "Normally I grant three wishes, but in your case, I am going to grant only one".
He thinks a minute and says - "OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed".
She says "So be it!", and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance!
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When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Florida. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tireder and slower, etc., etc., etc.
He responded with, "Mrs. Barricks, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?"
My grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99."
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The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?"
I said, "Fire and theft."
Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed WHILE it's burning down.
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Insurance agent to his lawyer: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me for six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
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Two insurance salesmen were driving down a country road at high speed and passed a pickup truck with an old couple inside. "Look at those fools, pa! Must be a couple of insurance salesman and they will surely meet their maker soon, I tell you."
Well, sure enough, a little while later the couple comes across a bad accident involving the two insurance salesmen. "Well maw, we got to do what any good folk would do and give'm a decent burial."
So the couple dug a hole and buried the insurance salesman. Just as they were putting their tools away, a cop drives up. "You folks see this accident?"
"No sir, but we knew them dang fools were going to have it when they passed us doing a hunert miles an hour. Well, we finally come across the accident and gave them insurance salesman a decent burial"
"You were sure that they were dead??"
"Well, they said they weren't, but you know how those insurance salesmen exaggerate!"
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Two women are playing golf when one of them ask the other, "Do you and your husband have mutual climax?"
The other woman replies, "No, I think we have State Farm."
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There´s a new insurance policy written especially for Jewish mothers. It´s called the "My Fault" policy.
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A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. The shop specialized in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Actuary' Brains ... $9/lb
Loss Control Brains ... $12/lb
Underwriters' Brains ... $15/lb
Claims Adjusters' Brains ... $33/lb
Insurance Executives' Brains ... $87/lb
Life Insurance Salesmens' Brains ... $146/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those insurance salesmens' brains must be something."
To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many of them you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"
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A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against .... get this .... fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.
The man sued ... and WON!!
In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."
After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested... on 24 counts of arson!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
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After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker's compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related.
"How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent.
In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg."
The agent replied, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?"
"Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand," said the pirate.
"That's also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?" asked the agent.
The pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!"
"What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" said the agent.
"It were the first day with me hook!"
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The Bricklayer's Insurance Claim
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope...
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There are four things that you cannot recover in life:
(1) The Stone...........after it's thrown,
(2) The Word............after it's said,
(3) The Occasion......after it's missed, and
(4) The Time.............after it's gone.
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| Q: Do you know what a woman and insurance have in common? | Answer: They are both expensive, difficult to understand and what you get is not guaranteed. |
| Q: Do you know the difference between a man and a whole life policy? | Answer: A whole life policy eventually matures |
| Q: Did you hear about the insurance executive that nearly died in a horseback riding accident? | Answer: He was saved when the manager of the Wal Mart finally came out and unplugged it. |
Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?  |
Answer: None, they'll just have a CSR do it. |
| Q: How many CSRs does it take to change a light bulb? |
Answer: Seven; one to change the bulb, and six to stand around and complain how producers do it. |
| Q: How many actuaries does it take to change a light bulb? |
Answer: "How many did it take last year?" |
| Q: How many insurance agents does it take to change a light bulb? |
Answer: That depends on whether the light bulb burned alone or with the whole house. |
| Q: Why is a CSRs like a mushroom? | Answer: Because they're kept in the dark, fed a lot of crap, and when they start to grow, they get canned. |
| Q: What do you get when you cross a monkey with a broker? | Answer: Nothing, there's some things even a monkey won't do. |
| Q: I asked a broker how many producers he had working for him? | Answer: He answered "about half of them". |
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| Q: I asked an agent how long he had been working for the company? | Answer: He answered "ever since they threatened to fire me". |