Insurance Jokes

Lose A Husband

Posted by on August 1, 2011 at 5:55 am

“Do you know the present value of your husband´s policy?” the life insurance salesman asked his client. “What do you mean?” countered the woman. “If you should lose your husband, what would you get?” asked the salesman. The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, “Probably a poodle.” http://www.barricksinsurance.com/insurance_jokes.html

SMOKING, DRINKING & SWEARING

Posted by on November 17, 2010 at 8:29 am

A man is walking down the street smoking, drinking bourbon and swearing to himself. A preacher came over to him and dressed him down good. He finished with “I´m 64 years old and I have never smoked, drank or swore!” The man replied “Yes, and you have never sold insurance either!”

A Physicians Daughter

Posted by on July 26, 2010 at 5:15 am

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. “Be still, my heart,” thought my friend, “my daughter wants to follow [...]

We Pay Off Faster

Posted by on July 20, 2010 at 5:51 am

Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service. The first one said, “When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening.” The second one said, “When [...]

HMO Care

Posted by on June 9, 2010 at 4:29 am

Now I Know Why They Call it ICU…

Posted by on April 29, 2010 at 6:37 am

Evolution of Man

Posted by on April 26, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Who wants to live to 100?

Posted by on April 26, 2010 at 6:07 am

When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Florida. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints — this hurts, that’s stiff, I’m tireder and slower, [...]

The Top 10 Signs You’ve Joined A Cheap HMO

Posted by on April 22, 2010 at 6:03 am

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor’s office include “take a left when you enter the trailer park”. 8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 7. Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. 6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is “an apple a day”. [...]