20 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :-)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :-("
11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us." Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Afrikaans - een plesierige kerfees Albanian - Gezur Krislinjden Arabic - i'd miilad said oua sana saida Argentine - Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo Armenian - Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand Azeri - Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun Basque - Zorionak eta Urte Berri On! Bohemian - Vesele Vanoce Brazilian - Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo Breton - Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat Bulgarian - Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo Catalan - Bon Nadal i Feliç Any Nou Chinese (Mandarin) - Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan Chinese (Catonese) - Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun Cornish - Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth Cree - Mitho Makosi Kesikansi Croatian - Sretan Bozic Czech - Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok Danish - Glædelig Jul Dutch - Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! English - Merry Christmas Eritrean - rehus-beal-ledeat Esperanto - Gajan Kristnaskon Estonian - Ruumsaid juulup|hi Farsi - Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad Finnish - Hyvaa joulua French - Joyeux Noel Frisian - Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier! German - Froehliche Weihnachten Greek - Kala Christouyenna! Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka Hebrew - Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova Hindi - Shub Naya Baras Hungarian - Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket Icelandic - Gledileg Jol Indonesian - Selamat Hari Natal Iraqi - Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah Irish - Nollaig Shona Dhuit Iroquois Indian - Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay. Italian - Buone Feste Natalizie Japanese - Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto Korean - Sung Tan Chuk Ha Latvian - Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu! Lettish - Priecigus Ziemassvetkus Lithuanian - Linksmu Kaledu Manx - Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa Maori - Meri Kirihimete Maltese - Il-Milied it-tajjeb Marathi - Shub Naya Varsh Navajo Indian- Merry Keshmish Norwegian - God Jul Papiamento - Un Felis Pasco y un Prospero Anja Nobo Papua New Guinea - Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu. Pennsylvania German - En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr! Polish - Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia Portuguese - Boas Festas Rapa-Nui - Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua Rumanian - Sarbatori vesele Russian - Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom Serbian - Hristos se rodi Slovakian - Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce Sami - Buorrit Juovllat Samoan - La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou Scots Gaelic - Nollaig chridheil huibh Serb-Croatian - Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina Singhalese - Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa Slovak - Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok Slovene - Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto Spanish - Feliz Navidad Swedish - God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År Tagalog (Filipino) - Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon Tamil - Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal Thai - Sawadee Pee Mai Turkish - Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun Ukrainian - Srozhdestvom Kristovym Urdu - Naya Saal Mubarak Ho Vietnamese - Chung Mung Giang Sinh Welsh - Nadolig Llawen Yugoslavian - Cestitamo Bozic
Dear Santa, I can explain! 
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